Grieving for my pet

2 months ago

I rescued my beagle Izzy from the red list over 5 years ago. Her owner turned her into the shelter and we think it is because she was in an accident that left her crippled. She was unable to use one of her back legs and for that reason alone the staff put her on the list. One of my friends in rescue called me. I adopted her. 

I took her to a doggie orthopedist and to physical therapy. She had swim sessions with a trainer. She got stronger, but she never did get back the use of her leg. It was a big day when she was able to go up the front steps on her own. We found that she was perfectly housebroken and had a sweet loving nature. She learned sit, stay, down and shake. She loved being out in the yard and she was active, running and barking along with the other dogs.

Thursday Izzy refused her breakfast and seemed unable to get up. I carried her out to the front yard and put her on the grass in the sun. I thought maybe it was something with her rear leg but then I noticed her belly seemed distended. I called my hubby and together we took her to the Vet. The Vet took an x-ray and found that her spleen had ruptured and she was bleeding internally. He told me she was suffering. He offered to help her pass on. We agreed it was the right thing to do, but it was very hard to say goodbye to her. 
I think I am going to be sad for a while. I have had to deal with the sorrow of losing a pet before. It doesn’t seem to get any easier. I know that this is part of what I sign up for when I adopt a dog, but knowing that does not help when it happens. Her unconditional love was well worth this pain, and I will get over it. Just give me some time.